The Olympics are species-ist

[Kurt]

Rats?

 I thought about some rodents but not sure. Can a a squirrel run in a straight line for a mile?

I don't think monkeys or apes could beat us in this race but they may be able to.

I'm thinking black and brown bears would win this race. I'll give a slight edge to a black bear because they can really climb trees while a brown bear will struggle a bit. They are both good swimmers but I "think" brown bear are better. I would also bet a pizza that a bear would easily beat a human at all three stages.

Where's Claude when you need him? Let's stuff his pockets with ham and cheese sandwiches and see if he can out run, swim and climb a bear. Eating all the sandwiches before the bear catches him disqualifies Claude.