Funniest standups

[Kurt]

Yeah, even when I was in the service people sometimes commented that I hardly ever cussed. I usually replied with something like.. I was pretty much raised by an old black women that spent most her time in church and she carried a mean bar of homemade lye soap. lol. Ms. Ruby, RIP.

I lived with my Grandmother when I was young. One day I came home from playing with friends and she wanted me to play cards with her. I remember looking at the hand I was dealt and I decided to use my new vocabulary word I just learned from my friends.

So, I proudly proclaimed, "All I got is crap!"...not the best thing to say around her.